A CHOICE to LOVE

Little Barbie's conversations with God have been heard ever since she cried out as a child.  Her heavenly Father listened and accepted her plea to belong to Him. He was aware of all her needs and He legally adopted little Barbie and gave her the keys to His kingdom. Since she accepted Jesus Christ, as her Lord, the Authority of her life, she has never walked alone, or felt her Father was not listening.  Because she trusts that Her Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are ever present, she hears His voiced encouragements in the Bible, she listens to what the Spirit is saying through words of encouragement, and she is guided through open doors that show her His Ways.  Barbie relies on her intimate relationship with God and she depends on the Holy Spirit's revelation of how particular scriptures apply to her journey.  She prayed and trusted that God heard her when she requested:  " God, I pray that I will grow in my relationship with You so much that when You speak, I will immediately recognize Your voice and respond, willingly, without reservation." 

Barbie "seeks" Her Father's will and to get His best for her, she denies her personal desires, so that she can accept His plan for her life. "Not my will be done, but Thy will be done." She seeks to please her Father and not seek the approval of others.. This has never been easy, and she has failed many times, however, by the constant grace and mercy of God, Barbie has been convicted to confess her goofs and receive her Father's compassion and forgiveness and work out the gift of her salvation. In her new life in Christ she has learned NOT to trust her feelings, but to deny herself and rely on the Word of God, and the nudge from the Spirit within her. As He promised, He shows her the Way and where He is already working, and she chooses to join Him in His work. She loves her Father above all else and she trusts Him, no matter how unprepared she may feel to WALK this WAY.

IDEALLY, through prayer, the reading of the Word, and patient deliberation, when she is at peace in her heart and mind, and as she remains in continuing communication with the Father, she

confidently proceeds according to God's will. She is completely fulfilled in her love relationship with God and she gladly obeys because she trusts that what He asks her to do is best.  God has always faithfully provided all she needs.  He feeds her body, nourishes her soul and Jesus clothed her with His righteousness. Barbie would rather have the love of Jesus than the imperfect love, performance applause or fading approval of man.  She knows that she is an ordinary girl through which God can accomplish extraordinary things.  Therefore, Barbie does not fret or fear life in this world, or going alone to a foreign country, or being rejected or laughed at. She values eternity, not her short time on earth.  Barbie’s life as a daughter of the King of Kings is shaped by her choices to please Him. She has allowed God to develop her character through various trials.  No matter the pain of the circumstance, the struggle did not change her love for God, it only increased her reliance upon Him.  Barbie is convinced that God's 

Word, and His promises are the Truth, and the Way because she has personally encountered Jesus. His faithfulness over the years to prosper her, and not harm her, is her reality.  She considers all her profits in this life as a loss compared to the unsurpassed greatness of experiencing God through her loving relationship with Jesus Christ her Lord.  Barbie died to herself and was spiritually born again and given the personal knowledge of the Holy Spirit.  She seeks to remain God-centered and not self-centered by placing her complete confidence "in Him" not in her education or skill.

She thanks God for all that He initiates, because she knows that He finishes everything He starts.   Barbie knows that His ways are not her ways, and so if what He asks her to do, seems impossible, then it is most assuredly from the Father. His plan of salvation still boggles the human mind.  His Son, Jesus was rejected, laughed at, mocked and beaten, and He chose to die, so that she could live “in Him” sealed, protected and used forever in this world, and throughout eternity. Barbie is enabled to love God with the love He first gave her, because she believed that Jesus, the Son of God came down to rescue her.  Barbie purposely invests her life, time and provided resources into the thing that will last, her love relationship with God. This investment will never perish or pass away.  Jesus is at the door of your heart, knocking.  Do NOT resist the impulse to surrender.

Open the door to your heart and invite Him in. Enjoy coming home to the Father.  Relax into eternal life "in Him", now, today...NOW is when eternal life with Jesus can begin.  Be still and know that Jesus is God and that wherever you are, He is.  Whatever you are feeling, whatever has you worried, He knows.  He is your divine Comforter.  He is approachable, and available 24/7.  Know that He is always glad to hear from you and He wants to transform your mind, your heart and your perceptions about who He is.  Allow yourself to be lifted up and carried by the Father and trust that He will never drop you, or forsake you.  You need never to be alone, or feel unwanted again. So what is love? God is love. I had lived my life as a prisoner of my flesh. The strong desire to indulge the best, and all of the beautiful luxuries seemed normal. To taste whatever the smiling world had made available, I simply marveled in all that intoxicated my soul. I held tight to my unrighteous indignation, self-pity, and my impulsively critical spirit. My faultless character stood on a pedestal of my own making. Insecure, I was offended easily. I disliked the messengers who were sent to speak truthfully about any lack in me. I was full of philosophy and the unquenchable need to be loved, to arrive in impeccable style, to be seen, to be welcomed by all. My need for self gratification, my longing for connection, my obvious emptiness was not what I saw in the mirror. Changing careers, I was glad to leave behind all that I was unable to achieve on my own. After all the positive thinking seminars I had ingested, there I was, feeling like an imposter, at times suicidal, unworthy and a complete failure. Knowing the truth of my reckless, selfish behavior, I exhausted all the wisdom of my generation. To sin was my habit, and self denial was my way. Lofty words would drive me to mountaintop experiences, but the descent was devastating. This was the detestable state of my being when Jesus said to me; "Barbara, you are Mine!" 

Each worldy thing that once caused me to crave more-- began to decay away. To empty myself of me, is a PROCESS of denying my soul. Only when the soul is broken, can the Light of God stream in and fill the emptiness with His Spirit. Our Lord is gracious, patient and lovingly understanding. In July 2024, I began reading "Releasing the Spirit" by Watchman Nee.  My Father's mercies and His grace has never departed. On a bad day, I quickly pray, Lord, I surrender my mind, and soul to You. Fill me with Your words as I willingly delete all my reasoning. My God is always been there, waiting for me to once again surrender my flesh, and ask the Spirit to lead me. "Help me." Yes, Lord Jesus, rescue me from myself. Crack my soul so the seed can grow in my spirit man.  How does one come to love a God that one cannot see? In your own language, ask God to answer all your questions. When you realize that nothing can fill the hole in your soul but TRUE LOVE, then you will seek God with all your heart and He will reveal the TRUTH, that His love is everlasting and He does not change. People change and people let you down.  Only God is faithful, only is God worthy to be praised and loved with the love He will give to you first.  "Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original." Galatians 5:25-26 The Message

PREJUDICE stilled

Prejudice then and now is a point of view, a perspective learned, not of God, but of this world. Harrison Ford portrayed Branch, a man that witnessed racial prejudice in his youth and did nothing about it. When he was in position to make a difference, he SHOOK UP the world by introducing the first black man in Brooklyn for the Dodgers. The number 42, the first and last number to be retired in baseball history - is because of one mans passion for the sport, and because of another man's tremendous GOD GIVEN courage to SUBMERGE his anger, and be changed from his inside out, by the spirit of God, for the greater good. Branch warns Jackie "PREPARE yourself to be wickedly trampled in public. You must face verbal abuse like Jesus did, with humility and silence. You must rise above all that is hurled at you. You must maintain WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST, for His namesake, for HIS greater glory ~ and win souls by your silent witness." Jackie was coached well and he learned to harness his thoughts,

his emotions, his old ways and submitted them unto the Lord, that as a nation we would embrace ALL men as equal, to the GLORY OF GOD. A great emotional performance in REAL LIFE, and in the movie 42! "All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud, but shows favor to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:5-11

Effective Prayer

"The prayers of righteous men accomplish much" James 5:16 - What do you want to accomplish today? Have you asked God for His help? The finished work of Jesus allows us to be covered by His righteousness, BUT --- "The Lord is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous." Proverbs 28:9 --- The truth is, the very best Christian is only human and God says that the human heart is deceitful above all else.  The Holy Spirit was deposited in us, to convict us, to guide us, to comfort us, and to teach us about Who God is...He is holy and in order for us to remain in a right and intimate relationship with the Lover of our souls, we must abide in Him, and respond to Him in prayer. Prayer is a relationship, a connection, it is a sacrifice of our time with the Holy Spirit, it is a time to ask, and it is a time to listen to what the Spirit is asking us to do.  In our obedience, we are blessed.  We serve a BIG GOD and HE asks us to do things that stretch our faith and cause us to enter into a

crisis of belief.  "How can I accomplish that Lord?"  EXACTLY!!! "On our own, without God, we can do nothing!"  We deceive ourselves whenever we think we have been completely obedient, or that we are NOT without UNBELIEF at times, or that we have NOT sinned today. "Oh Lord, I believe in You, but help me in my unbelief about...."  Has God asked you to do something you are unwilling to do because of your lack of faith in Him for finances, for provision, or for equipping us adequately? Have you watched a program that would offend God today?  Have you held a single unkind thought about your neighbor? Have you arrogantly thought or said "I am better than they are because I would have acted...I would have done...and they should..." Our prideful thoughts of being superior to anyone, our hesitation to forgive others, or a single good deed performed out of a selfish motive... this unknown, unseen condition of heart makes us unholy, unfit and unable to expect answers to our prayers. We must confess our sins to God with genuine remorse for NOT trusting Him, for avoiding Him, for NOT believing that He cares, for discounting His power, for rebelling against His authority, for offending the King of Kings, and for pridefully denying that we sin and fall short daily.  STOP and listen to what the Spirit in YOU is asking.  Do we need to pray for the Holy Spirit to increase our faith?  To help us with our unbelief?  To forgive today's sins? Are we honest before God?

 "O my Father, my Advocate, my Counselor, Thou art worthy of all my adoration. Before I can approach the Holy of Holies boldly... I must humbly confess that my heart breaks for having offended Thee. Most sincerely I despise all my selfish, offensive ways and thoughts.  I fall short and I admit I need You. Your convicting chastisement is effective and JUST.  Because I have offended the glory and honor of Thy Holy name Jesus, I have NO peace.  O my Lord God, Thou art all good and fully deserving of all my love and devotion. With hope for Thy continuing grace, have mercy on me. I thank You Holy Spirit for convicting me so that I may transparently confess my sins.  You sought a sinner like me and adopted me so that I may reflect the holiness and glory of God.  Jesus said..."But go and learn what this means: "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."  For I have NOT come to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:13 - Oh Lord, you called me a sinner, and after all your mercy, love and grace, I beseech Thee to forgive my sins again. Oh my Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!  Your glory is above the heavens, and who am I that You would be mindful ...and hear my prayers? Reading the Psalms You inspired David to record, I am reminded that

the arrogant cannot stand in Your presence. God hates pride and all who gossip and speak ill of others. Only because of Your great mercy, am I able to kneel down and ask for Your forgiveness. Your perfect word says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 -- My soul is in anguish, be merciful to me Lord for my heart is broken, full of remorse. Forgive me Father, for I have offended Thee by my -----------. "I praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.  I set the Lord always before me, therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure, because I trust His unfailing love will not abandon me." Psalm 16 --- Lord, You have made known to me the path of life; You filled me with the Holy Spirit and I am yours.

AMEN and HALLELUJAH! Our heartfelt prayers are words that are spoken from a pure heart. No matter the words we use, the Holy Spirit, our intercessor will deliver the perfect request to Jesus, our Advocate who sits at the right hand of our Father. "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:26.  "My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin.  But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father ---Jesus Christ, the Righteous One." 1 John 2:1. The Psalms are a gift from God. They overflow with genuine praise to God, given under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, through men whose hearts and minds were overtaken by the glory of God. Our impoverished vocabulary does not diminish our prayers because God knows our hearts and He issues us grace, mercy and compassion as we stumble to express our adoration, daily confessions and thanksgiving.  "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart"  Psalm 51:16 ---Our Father will not despise or reject the prayers that come from a heart that

genuinely feels remorse for their realized impurities.  It is unwise to take God's mercy for granted.  God is not obligated to forgive us.  The failure to FEEL gratitude for all the benefits of being a child of God is to be like a pagan or the apostate.  "For although they knew God they did not honor Him as God or give thanks to Him." Romans 1:21 --- When we FEEL the emotion of gratitude, we are compelled from within to ACT, and to express our genuine thanksgiving.  To NOT give due thanks to God is to exalt ourselves and degrade what God has done for us.  Our Lord Jesus is dishonored when we choose to withhold praise.  Keeping a praise journal is a great way to never lose sight of the countless times God blessed us. If our Father never grants us another prayer request, or if He withheld His stream of grace, we would be hard pressed to thank Him adequately for what He has already done. Read the entire Psalm 66 and consider all that God has done for you personally. The Psalm is filled with praise and this important truth: "If I had cherished sin in my heart (withheld confession), the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard MY VOICE in prayer.  Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me." Psalm 66:20 ~ Thank God for giving us...DAILY... amazing gifts!

Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for the wonderful way You created me.  Thank You for providing me with endless opportunities to be of service and to avoid a stale life of routine boredom. Thank You for giving me courage to take risks, to think outside the box, and to experiment. Thank You for giving me timeless commands without endless rules!  Thank You Lord for inviting me to ask and receive what is best for me, in Your time. Thank You for increasing my faith daily by all the glorious evidence of God in nature. Thank You Lord for allowing me to make tons of mistakes, and for Your unmerited grace. Thank You for collaborating with me, and uniquely gifting me that I may excel in life. Thank You for Your generosity of time and unlimited resources, that I in turn may be generous towards others. Thank You for the freedom I have "in You" that allows me to live set apart, and independent from world views.  Thank You for Your mercy as I experiment with words and actions.  Thank You for motivating me from within, to do good and to be accountable.  Thank You for giving me plenty of work to do, and the strength to do it well.  Thank You Lord for never forsaking me, for always going before me, and leading me in the right way. Thank You for giving me eyes to see, for ears to hear, for a mind that can choose what to think, a heart that feels compassion, and hands and feet to keep moving. Thank You for restoring what was lost, for repairing my heart, and healing my body. AMEN - The practice of prayer becomes sweet as we anticipate a dialogue with our Father God who is delighted to hear from us. Our Father is genuinely interested in every aspect of our lives. SPEAK plainly to GOD, be HONEST and pour out the contents of your heart. Everyday brings a need or a trouble to tell to our Father.

The PIT of Despair

During this life we each have spent time in a dark place, in a pit of despair and we question "If there is a God, why am I suffering?" Many wonder where was God when jets crashed into the twin towers, and thousands of good people along with many church going Christians perished. The deep incomprehensible pain after 911 was not easy for thousands of the survivors.  This kind of terror stunned even the most devout.  The United States was awakened to the reality of evil after Pearl Harbor, and on September 11, 2001.  Each citizen was shaken to the core and moved to cling more tightly to the truth, that the earth as we know it, is NOT our eternal home, or simply implode with no hope for the future.  We each have a choice to grow emotionally and spiritually stronger as we pass through the fires of this life, or faint and disintegrate into the pit of hopelessness. Many unhappy citizens of planet earth "TRY GOD" on their human terms. If God does not appear and respond according to their expectations, they quickly determine that faith in God does not work. Stuck in a pit of despair, they try other Gods. They may temporarily distract themselves from their emptiness with superficial relationships, or any number of pursuits or activities. Depression leaves us in the fetal position of despair. Share this short clip with anyone you know who is stuck in the pit of hopelessness:      In our urban society there is a belief that God simply wants us all to be happy, or that God does not exist. Those same folks with slippery beliefs choose to blame God for all gloom, stormy times, 911, their divorce, or for any lost dream.  A wildly popular thought is nurtured in the minds of the lost by the great deceiver who whispers "There is no such thing as God, because if God cared, He would have prevented this tragedy."

Americans long ago tossed God out of schools, the court room, and Wallstreet. Our Father does not force Himself on anyone and He does not return to those who choose to reject Him. "Trust in God" is on the face of every American coin, but do we Trust God in times of trouble? Many have chosen to follow the easy way, to simply satisfy their human desire and believe that all religions lead to God. Many believe that each individual has the freedom to choose which way FEELS right, to them. --- In 2014 to BE politically correct, those who lack the wisdom of God TOLERATE everything --- To obtain the popular vote, the minds of non-believers and many believers simply choose to GO WITH THE FLOW. Attempting to avoid upsetting anyone, many strive to win the approval of peers, family, or constituents. The world's cunning MYTHICAL message is broadcast daily in the news. We seek to be like a local HERO, a man made super star or get to the top no matter what. All this idol worship eventually proves unsatisfying.  The media promotes the belief that we must accept that TRUTH is ---- whatever is TRUE for each individual.  FACT: Truth is found in God's unchanging word. Our true friend Jesus Christ shares light and salt. Many myths exist in the mind of man regarding our eternal fate. Today RELATIVITY = the absence of absolute truth. This generation is shown in song, on film daily that what is wrong is right, that whatever is down will on its own rebound, and that the perfect politician can fix the economy. Like Alice in Wonderland, the world is a confusing rabbit chase of glamour, glitz and fame. Some folks worship gold, dogs, trees, statues, Hollywood legends, fame, athletes, rock stars, or the freedom to be the most pleasing Snow White, Mommy, Daddy, or Fashionista. Today absolute TOLERANCE ---NOT Truth --- RULES! --- In the media, in the home, in politics, TOLERANCE is the worst sin of all. Any God opposing TRUTHS regarding: methods of parenting, same sex marriage, abortion, what is relative, what is true, Who God is, thoughts about the devil, or evil is absolutely INTOLERABLE to a holy God! A world wide web of lies exposes the wise and the innocent to instant data, facts, research, and opposition to any position taken about any one thing....BUT,  IS IT TRUTH? Does it honor God?  Trusting in God's word is to have confidence in a grand ETERNAL future that is far superior to anything we enjoy on earth.

Our human definition of happiness shifts - because we are highly influenced by fleeting events. The JOY of the Lord is rock steady, it is eternal and consistent, regardless of circumstance. The goal of most people is "To just be happy" But God's perfect plan is to deliver us from the temporary and transport us into His eternal Love, Joy and Peace. The MYTH that WHATEVER makes us happy, makes God happy --- is to think that a human knows the mind of God. As long as we are satisfied with what we believe, we can then slide positively from one truth to another. Being righteously intolerant is to say "Hey, I like you, but your actions are offensive to God and to me." Hollywood promotes tolerance for all issues. Human weakness is that we all strive to be liked by our peers. Who we become depends on the thoughts we adopt. God's thoughts or man's thoughts about God? We get to CHOOSE to put on the full armor of God and care more about what God sees and hears, or we choose to put on the thoughts of man in order to be tolerated, or liked. No person that you admire in this world can lift you out of the pit of despair.  God can, and He does.

Images and words are directly aimed at our spiritual souls ~ they encourage us to buy what we do not need, and to TOLERATE all the ways of an evolving world.  Freedom is translated by a lost generation to mean that we are not accountable to God. That our behavior cannot offend a God that does not exist. This world celebrates madness! The truth is WRITTEN: "Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." Hebrews 3:12-13 God also warned: "And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who did not obey? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief" Hebrews 3:18-19 now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in

spirit and truth.” The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When He comes, He will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.” John 4:24  ~ The cause of DESPAIR in the world is this: Lies, cheating, murdering, stealing, mixed up sexuality, and gossip.  It is our choices that spins the MADNESS into each script of most television shows. The world broadcasts boldly that "ANYTHING we DO or SAY is OKAY" Commercials are designed to change the mind so that we buy whatever is being sold. We then find pleasure in dark places that cannot satisfy the soul's thirst for truth --- DENIAL protects our secret desire for peace. God created us before the foundations of the world, He knows our hearts, He knows our thoughts, He knows our human weakness, and He gave us access to the truth, to His wisdom, to His perfect ways ~ and He gave us the freedom to choose Him above the ways of the world, the lost, the deceived, the deprived. God placed in each soul a yearning for truth, a need for divine love that never rejects --- and a love that is merciful. BE YE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND ~ IT IS WRITTEN: "While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them; and suddenly a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!” And when the disciples heard it, they fell on their faces and were greatly afraid. But Jesus touched them and said,  “Arise, and DO NOT be afraid.” Matthew 17 -  Invite Jesus to reveal Himself to you.

Almighty God waits patiently for us to ask Jesus to assure us that we are loved as we are. Ask God to give you eyes to see beyond the visible, and ears to hear His voice. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and give you new life. Receive the TRUTH of JESUS, the Son of God as your ETERNAL Father, the Lover of your soul and receive His unconditional love, joy, peace. Surrender the knowledge begotten of the internet, a friend, a family member, the misguided teachings of a world gone mad. Surrender to the MIND OF CHRIST and be changed in a twinkling! Be satiated with His living water! The scales on your eyes will be lifted and you will understand that what happens in Vegas, does not stay in Vegas, but that the serpent of evil corrupts the mind against the simplicity in Christ. If we choose to broadcast the TRUTH that God does not approve of all ways to His throne, we are mocked as silly bible thumpers. ABSOLUTE TRUTH does exist ---and God wrote to tell us repeatedly in the book of John - "I tell you the truth". As Ambassadors of Christ, we are God's feet, hands and mouth. When we speak God's TRUTH, we are called lunatics and judged as INTOLERANT by those that love their life in this world. "The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."  John 12:25 -- "Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were

of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are NOT — to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corin 1:1-31 - Let us believe God at His word, that He loves us.  Let us forgive ourselves as we are forgiven and LAUGH about our foolish past and rejoice in our NEW heart. Let us boast of what the Lord has spoken in our ear! IT IS WRITTEN: “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life. Most assuredly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God; and those who hear will live. For as the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have life in Himself, and has given Him authority to execute judgment also, because He is the Son of Man." John 5:24-27 - "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." Philippians 3:20-22

Who is Jan Hicks?

Who is this woman?  She is an adoring wife, a beloved mother, a devoted daughter, a respected teacher, a fun loving woman, and a published author who is after God’s own heart. She is a generous friend, a truth teller, a prayer warrior, a Harley rider, a kayaker, a great listener, and a thankful, transparent woman who has no shame --- as she has been supernaturally changed by God for His mighty purpose. She counts her personal relationship with Jesus as the top blessing of her life.  In August 2022 Jan returned to Chapala to tell her testimony in several Spanish congregations in Guadalajara and Chapala. She has a growing ministry in Alabama and in Guatemala. She opens her testimony with "They conquered him (schemes of the devil) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives in the face of death." Who are they?  The Two Witnesses in the book of Revelation breathed fire. A believer in Jesus named John heard a voice from heaven "eat the scroll:\" It would be bitter in his stomach, but sweet as honey in his mouth. Sometimes when we share all that God has done in us, we are mocked and that rejection can turn bitter in our tummies. We obey, eat the word and in our obedience to forgive as we are forgiven, we are blessed beyond measure.  The Revelation of Jesus Christ in chapters 11 and 12, point out much truth. As we stand strong and witness with fire, we may lose friends and the enemy will attack, but God --- equipped us in advance! The lethal weapon of God's word destroys the enemy.   God empowers His witnesses. In the last days these two had the power of the Holy Spirit (as we do) to stand against Satan and all his attacks. These two witnesses were killed right where Jesus was crucified. However, after 3 1/2 days of laying dead, God blew His breath

of life into them and they stood on their feet. Great fear fell on those who had been celebrating their death ---when they rose from PUBLIC dead bodies, (not buried, not stolen) they just simply got up ALIVE and were taken up into the clouds. Wonder if CNN will cover that story?  When we accept Jesus as Lord, and EAT HIS WORD when it assimilates fully, we become ALL of who He planned us to be. We get set free from all temptations as we saturate our minds with the truth.   That is what kept Jan's complete, immediate deliverance in tact. She ate the Word of God.  In 1991, both parents had worried that when Jan began passionately talking about all that Jesus had done for her, they were earnestly concerned that she was in a dangerous cult. They even dispatched Jan’s eldest son to investigate. However, while he only came to church to spy on his mom, during a church service, her son accepted Christ. Jan’s Dad and Mom accepted Christ in December 1994 as he was battling lung cancer. He moved in with Jesus 7 months later.  Her mother continues to serve the Lord today and was remarried to a minister in the year 2000. JAN’s MINISTRY: For years Jan Hicks worked in the same church that she got saved in. Her gift was to pray and the prayer ministry at this church operated 24 hours a day. Eventually friends from church encouraged Jan to begin an independent prayer ministry outside the church. They even financed a new prayer ministry and a website for Christians United Ministries, Inc. (CUMI)  launched in August of 1999 and it began with 12 prayer partners. God blessed their ministry and by His grace the website received prayer requests from churches and other online prayer ministries. Within a year, over 100,000 prayer partners joined from around the globe. Jan continues to work full time, without a salary, while Don works with their son doing restoration

construction to pay the family bills. Today Jan teaches a prayer model that brings healing to hearts that have been wounded or who remain in denial about past hurts. Many hard working Christians withhold pieces of their past from the light of Truth which prevents total healing.  The process she teaches comes from her personal healing experience. It includes closing doors to the enemy’s habitual ways of obstructing a person’s right to live a joy filled life. Jan is invited to share her amazing redemptive testimony at various denominations of faith. The power and grace of God transformed Jan's messy adolescent ways, supernaturally, in one hour. She is a beacon of hope for all who suffer through a life without passion or purpose. His power continues to restore whatever has been stolen from those who genuinely seek wholeness. Jan travels to Mexico as a teacher/trainer by partnering with Wellspring International School of Ministry which is hosted by Judy Whitener. Wellspring combines CUMI and other ministry resources to teach and encourage pastors and church leaders to be certified in a simple method of prayer.

Be Who God Created

A move of the Holy Spirit occured at Espiritu Santos church in Chapala on August 28, 2022 and several youth came forward, knelt at the alter in humility as they confessed their sins and welcomed Jesus into their hearts. Jan then had the youth line up for a personal word, and blessing. The Holy Spirit,personally touched these kids with great conviction as Jan told her testimony as Pastor Raul interpreted.  JAN’s HISTORY: Jan was born in Alabama, and raised in Pensacola, Florida. Her daddy owned a meat packing company, and her mamma retired from Sears and Roebuck as the personnel manager. Growing up, her mom and dad did not attend church themselves, but dad dropped off Jan and her brother at a local Baptist church every Sunday.  At the age of 12, Jan went forward to receive Christ Jesus with a gaggle of close pre-teen girlfriends who were willing so that they could get a new bathing suit to be baptized in. When she came home boasting of what she had done, her mother stated she was just following the crowd. Jan graduated nursing school and worked in a hospital, a private practice, and was a private duty nurse for Para and Quadriplegics. For a short time she worked for a Urologist, and the last 5 years of her nursing career was spent working in a Family Practice Office in Foley, Alabama. Little did Jan know that her choices would soon lead her into a personal crisis. Jan first got married in 1967 and at the age of 20, she gave birth to the first of her two sons. That marriage ended up in divorce in 1978 and Jan went out seeking attention as she wildly celebrated her freedom with friends. JAN’s TESTIMONY: In 1979 Jan met a man in a bar, who said all the things a damaged young lady wants to hear. They moved in together and later Jan learned that her boyfriend was secretly shooting up hard drugs. Jan eventually

caught him and she sought to save him by using her knowledge as a nurse. Her boyfriend responded “How can you help me with something you know nothing about!” Jan, full of pride, insisted “ I might not know anything about illegal drugs, but I am smart enough to not get addicted!” In a dare to prove she was strong, Jan stuck her arm out to him. Her boyfriend inserted a needle into her naked arm and filled her veins with liquid cocaine. For the next 12 years, Jan’s arms were full of tracks from heroine, cocaine, and speed use.  Jan manipulated people to get the drugs she craved. She stole from her parents and she overdosed twice and was left for dead once. She was dangerous to herself and to others. Jan attempted to murder the uncle who had molested her as a child, by trying to put a meat hook into the back of his head. She also attempted to intentionally harm the boyfriend who introduced her to drugs.  Jan moved from Pensacola to Alabama in 1982 after getting married again. She continued as a nurse until 1986 when she took a job at Sears and was promoted as a Department Manager.  She wore a mask and hid her addictions and worked to support her drug habit.  Soon she was divorced again and back into the partying lifestyle.  In June of 1991 she was dumped by another live-in boyfriend because he had met Jesus and could not be seen with a ‘whore no more’.  Jan deceived herself into thinking that she was doing okay. By the will of God, on August 4, 1991 that same boyfriend, who was raised by a preacher, and left his home as a prodigal, 

God used him to extend Jan an invitation to church. Jan declares that she only accepted his invite in a desperate attempt to win back the heart of this man. She admitted that she had no desire to turn her life over to God. His will be done on earth, and in us, as we stubbornly submit. During the music and the sermon Jan began to weep. She thought foolishly “If I go up to the alter this ex boyfriend would get credit.” After the service they drove 17 miles back home. Jan was sobbing and requested that he take her back for the music service at 6:00 pm. This inter-denominational church was celebrating their new sanctuary that night and afterwards Jan said “We need to talk”  This ex-boyfriend at one time had been a seminary student, but when his wife divorced him, the seminary kicked him out. He had been angry at God and the church, but he was redeemed and wanted Jan to experience new life in Christ. Later on that night Jan cussed him because he drove her back to the church to speak with the Pastor and his wife. On August 4, 1991 at 9:30 PM after the pastor prayed with Jan, her heart opened and she honestly confessed to God “You know all that I have done, and I am not sure you could use me, but I ask You to help me stop using drugs, alcohol, tobacco and pornography. Jan knew her home was filled with all sources of evil habits. That very night Jan was totally delivered from any desire for drugs, or alcohol. She went home and tossed all substances into a burn barrel. Two weeks later Jan was baptized and delivered from three and a half packs of cigarettes a day. In October of 1991 Jan heard a man named Don Hicks

give his testimony at church. His story of bad choices matched her own struggle with addictions. Jan was moved by the Spirit to ask Don if he would talk to her incarcerated girlfriend. They went to talk over coffee. They talked for hours and soon after began seeing each other every day. Within three months after their first meeting they got married on Jan 3, 1992. Don’s dad was also a preacher, and Don also left home as a prodigal son. He had tasted all that the world had to offer and returned home to Christ in Sept of 1991. Don was also supernaturally delivered from all his addictions which cost him about $20,000 each summer. Don worked in construction and throughout their brief courtship, together they attended either a bible study, or some kind of church function every night of the week. Don led Jan into the Word, the importance of tithing and prayer. Jan Hicks took possession of the indwelt Holy Spirit. Nothing but the indwelt Holy Spirit could ever satisfy her hunger to know God. Jan said YES to God and she allowed Him to inject His living Word into her soul, her body and mind.  Don and Jan Hicks are blessed with an awesome blended family. Don's two daughters refer to Jan as "Mom" and her two sons introduce Don as "Dad". Everyone in the family has crossed over to Freedom in Christ.  The book "Crossing2Freedom", by Jan Hicks: “If you find yourself bound by your past --- and try as you might, you are unable to move away from the lingering pain of old hurts, Jan's book encourages you to pick up your mat and walk into all that God has personally intended for you. 

Crossing2Freedom is a must have BOOK for anyone that truly wants to be deeply healed from any past abuse, neglect, or simmering anger.  A person crosses into freedom when they choose to forgive others and forgive themselves. In faith we pray effectively to release certain chapters of our past to the Lord. We live free from the urge to dwell in the hurts of the past. Jan is the real deal, and so is her book. This isn't a book of theory, Crossing2Freedom was written with the blood, sweat, and tears of her own personal journey to absolute freedom in Christ Jesus. Jan has an ear to hear what the Spirit is saying, and she walks her talk by the Holy Spirits leading.” Written by a thankful student in Mexico 2014. You can order this life changing book by clicking here: Christians United Ministries

Barb of Bright Fables

Recently I have bathed my mind in the wonderfully written pages of Anne of Green Gables.  My imagination swells with a kindred spirit to Anne as I embrace her wordy, colorful visions. As her uninhibited tongue renames anything that impresses her as "royally beautiful", she delights to describe with specific words, that which gives glory to her soul's response to God's magnificent creation.  The "White Way of Delight" is how she proclaimed the wonderfully silent, yet vivid impression she received when Matthew quietly drove her through the Avenue. "It's the first thing I ever saw that could not be improved upon by my imagination!"  We too are on a journey, in a physical buggy, best driven by the Holy Spirit...to a place of peace and eternal rest..that also cannot be improved upon by our imagination...our heavenly home. "After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it.  And the One who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A

rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne." Revelation 4:1-4  --- It seems quite possible that the Author of our souls knows how beauty implores us to respond in praise! God's living Word gives us a glorious indescribable glimpse of His impact, His brilliance and His promise to us as He calls us to "Come up here, and I will show you"...the unmatched beauty and magnificent sounds of what our eternal home, in His presence will be like. Anne of Green Gables, Barb of Bright Fables and YOU were created to joyfully worship our faithful Father, our generous King, our powerful God for Who He is and for all that He promises us. In this life as I drive down the Libremento to it's end in Ajijic, the amber-brushed hillsides on both sides of the road

are like hands applauding Lake Chapala's graceful shifting landscape.  A beach receding that is flush with ethereal shades of green bobbings and a body of water that shimmers incandescently under a rainbo colored sky. Anne would certainly call Chapala's big translucent pond "the Lake of Shining Waters". Lakeside is a little valley that is saturated with God's creative handiwork. Wistfully and eagerly I thank my Lord for His shining light of guidance, provision and promise. Oh my heavens Jesus, my mind is raptured into silent reverence as I consider ALL what You have prepared for those who love You. A Word that fits: Halleluiah!

A CHANGED HEART

May ye be edified by how God continues to confound the wise and change even the most hardened hearts.  This original tale of A Changed Heart puts Jane Austen and Lord Byron in Bath, England during a period that both were known by facts of history to have visited.  Jane visits for her health, and Byron for his renewal. In 1812 Bath was the place to be, and in this year Jane was 36 years old ~ and recently diagnosed with Addison’s disease. With her opaque, failing health Jane returns to Bath. History accounts Jane's demise at the age of 41, but not without this fictional chance encounter with Lord Byron the rebel! My intent of heart is to feather the foam of a squawking society that cannot be satiated with the mere facts of Jane’s quiet existence.  This 5,000 word short story includes historical places that remain in existence today.   A CHANGED HEART ~ It was the twenty second day of 1812 and sisters Jane and Cassandra were set upon celebrating a fresh year of promise.

Together these exuberant siblings enjoyed a carriage ride through the woods from Chawton House, across the Avon gorge on a bridge that would fail all mathematical principals yet supported the weight of thundering horses. In a great measure their merriment was increased by their grand expectancy to reunite with sister Lydia. The sun piercing the crisp cold of January simply added to their delight in this long awaited return to Bath. With deliberate pursuit of what news, good or bad they would gather, the horses clopped down Lilliput Alley to arrive at their chosen destination. After departing Bath in 1805 when their father George, the retired Rector of Stevenson passed, the surviving family of mother and two spinster daughters moved into Brother Edward’s country estate near Canterbury. Both sisters were absolutely ravenous for any sort of interesting conversation. It had been ten elongated

years since Jane refused to accept the unbearable and unsuitable affections of her rejected neighbor Harris Bigg-Wither. Sense and Sensibility was recently published and with that an extra portion of income. Gossip bloomed regarding her unknown pen. Her chosen anonymity produced a scandal among growing fans and a bit of notoriety in the Austen manor. It was a welcomed temporary lift to the entire family spirit as Jane's all consuming passion of the written word had turned into such sweet fruit for all. However reclusive and miserable Jane had become, she rebounded this day from being vertically flattened by her comfortable, yet stifling country existence. She was abnormally happy to greet this day with hope for the years

spawning ahead. Today was not going to be another stupid party with a limit of six people. “No indeed”, Jane declared “we shall not need to utter a single word of nonsense, and for this I am motivated beyond the acute disorder of boredom.” The famous Spring Gardens drew a fashionable throng across the river. The Bath Chronicle had advertised hot buttered buns and public readings at Sally Lunn’s House, the very place of great attraction to which they had reserved to be. With explicit purpose these Austen sisters had planned and twittered about what to wear ever since Christmas Eve. They arrived just before noon and were quickly engulfed in Lydia’s embrace! The reception of the three sisters by the proprietor was exuberant and Jane dreaded any recognition that may result from his great felicity. They were seated among the visiting aristocrats at a requested back table. The atmosphere chosen for this reunion was done

without a thought for economy as Jane delighted in the opportunity of being generous towards her sisters. In December Jane had written a note to the proprietor and asked him to pay particular attention to the elegance of the table in which she and her sisters would sit. This would provoke an apt expression of exceeding joy for Lydia especially. Even in her maturity, Lydia was yet unabashedly Lydia and prone to notice all accouterments's added in honor of her visit. A moistened cluster of Pansies and Camellias tied together with

purple ribbon was the centerpiece atop a white embroidered table cloth. The decor accentuated the rare joy of benefiting from Lydia's way of abounding in vigor. For this particular New Year outing, the rich use of color, the aroma and warmth from the baking ovens wasted nothing on the elevated hopes for this memory making occasion. Jane was recently released from her doctors restrictions, and so delighted to be out and wearing Cassandra’s Christmas gift. A hand stitched white lace scarf that brightened the grey long sleeved satin dress that fitted Jane's thin shoulders. Lydia had received a letter from Cass that gave voice to her dire concern for Jane’s frail health. Lydia’s discovery of such news gave priority to her certain attendance. The provocation that led to this celebratory moment was unbeknownst to Jane. With such extreme happiness

over this New Year reunion, Cass was pleased that Jane’s countenance had notably improved. From the hand painted menu, Jane ordered a selection of sweets for the reunion; tea, three hot buns, lemon curd, Devon-shire cream and strawberries. After the customary etiquette of time, the tea was poured by attending staff into the beautifully ornate tea cups. With spoons quietly swirling, Jane’s eyes widened with a shock. Her confounded expression led Lydia and Cassandra to join in Jane’s directed gaze. A pin drop would have sliced the silence that enraptured all three sisters. Suddenly the group focus was on whose voice they were hearing. Could they trust their ears? What was being publicly read was from Sense and Sensibility. A portion had been reproduced and circulated in the Bath Chronicle. But it was not just that Jane was the author of this enlightened novel, but rather who was reading it! To Jane it was indeed a rather disturbing misfortune to be so honored by such an

undesirable reader. Simultaneously the Austen sisters recognized the one reading as England's very own Lord Byron! Jane would have hoped to find a noted scholar giving voice to her articulated large truths, but as it is, she was completely vexed by the audacity of the infamously impetuous Lord Byron! He read while brandishing his arms and with a chuckle he read what Edward Ferrars spoke to the impressionable young Marianne. Jane was instantly filled with illegitimate thoughts as her words slithered through the lips of this most offensive person. Her eyes froze upon Byron’s smiling mouth as he read. With growing consternation brewing she thought "Fate has been unkind that this man, of all men should read my heartfelt works with such a grinning smirk!" Lydia was lit up with such pride that she was ready to applaud had Jane not constrained her. Byron’s eyes glanced over at their table. Jane shifted in her chair and lowered her eyes to dissuade any polite conversation. Byron ended his animated reading and sat down with a crowded table of mostly female admirers. Cassandra and Lydia both acknowledged verbally how lovely of Lord Byron to choose to not read any of the many verses he had written, but to select Jane's. The two chortled on with hilarity mixed in their volume and soon resumed in reminiscent conversation. Jane bowed out of their silly theories of

why Lord Byron had chosen Sense and Sensibility out of all the books ever published. Jane was understood by family to resist any extroverted nonsense and was left undisturbed by her company to sit silently musing about the history of Bath. The name came about from the legend of Prince Bladud. The tale is that the Prince caught leprosy and was banned from the court and forced to look after pigs. Like the pigs, Prince Bladud was instructed to wallow in hot mud and was then found to be cured of his decaying skin. After being crowned King, he founded the city and named it Bath. Jane’s mind was steeped in poor opinion, she judged Lord Byron entirely on what others had said. Her mortification's erupted with a selfish wish that

Lord Byron's skin would suddenly crawl as if diseased and cause him to cease reading. That he might wallow in remorse for his degrading illicit affairs. Cassandra was attentive to Jane and acutely aware of her sister’s anguished look as Lord Byron gave animated voice to her writing. With resignation and a lowered tone, Jane turned and bitterly complained in a whisper "He may pen verses that cause women to faint at his feet, but his good looks cannot recover his unrepentant reputation. It grieves me to think of how his opinion of my work clashes against the blemish of his undone moral character!" Cassandra quietly pleaded "Oh Jane, I agree he is not the 'Byronic hero' that his accusers claim. I perceive him to be a melancholy man who broods about perhaps a misery of some unknown unforgivable event in his past. His heart shows pure in his poetry, and his music. His delight in your wit brings him a measure of joy, and for this we must see that your pen has fulfilled its purpose in him." Jane could barely be attentive to her sister's supposition when Lord Byron approached their table. It was Jane’s forthright intention to remain unapproachable. She began to fidget uncontrollably whispering to Lydia's ear "Oh what shall I do, I

simply cannot speak to this man whose reputation is ruined by his confirmed promiscuity!” Byron was a hero to many women, but not Jane! His romantic poetry was in a style that she could not fully comprehend as such passion for another had not been her friend. The fame of his scandalous private life was described by one contemporary as “mad, bad and dangerous to know”. Lydia retorted "Oh Jane, calm yourself and take pleasure in the moment." Byron had recently published the first two cantos of Childe Harold's Pilgrimage and Jane was not one of his adoring socialites! She gave him due credit for speaking effectively in the House of Lords on important liberal themes, however, his hectic love-affair with his half sister Augusta was disgusting! Jane’s brother Henry did not lead Jane away from the truth, but with great affection and respect for her intellect, he wisely chose to simply empower her with the facts of what was noteworthy in

England. Jane had the privilege to read about the romantic style now in demand, however, a plunder of gushing words to describe gothic architecture and nature's perfect landscape was a bore to Jane. She refused to write to please the latest fashionable obsession to read paragraphs filled with adverbs to depict a simple fallen leaf. The fascination of England over Byron's life and style of pen was indeed not shared by Jane. With his worthless character so widely in print, how is it that her text would be so tarnished by his tongue! Jane had procured a quiver of dark facts about a man named Lord Byron from a Lady Beckham, wife of the local magistrate. No mercy was seen through the eyes of the law, but Byron was seen by His Creator with through the eyes of grace. From a house filled with the discussion of law, Lady Beckham felt obliged to share love less words that drifted in from England. Jane held this one opinion of man above Gods and in so doing she could not conceive that any good could be held in the person of Lord Byron. Having ascertained steadfast knowledge of his affairs, Jane was absolutely incensed that this tragedy should land on her happiest day! Lord

Byron unaware of Jane's personal rebellion against him, stood at their table, bowed, clicked his heels and with a wave of a gentleman’s arm said "Miss Austen, your appearance is far lovelier than a flower in bloom. It is indeed my genuine honor to meet the woman that shall most certainly cause any man of intelligence to open the contents of his heart." Altogether astonished at his grace and manner, Jane felt a flush of conviction spreading to her cheeks. The spirit of repulsion had been suddenly banished. Humbled by his sincerity, she questioned "What brings one as notable as you to Bath when London brims with praise for your work?" Byron then spoke "It would have been bold of me to suppose that on my birthday I should be gifted with the

presence of such an accomplished woman. Therefore I must advance to request your forgiveness for my lack of social reserve in my cavalier approach. As destiny happens to surprise us with occasional sweetness, I am compelled to reveal this genuine truth. Having just refreshed myself with the wit and content of your heart, and having hoped that I would someday meet the humble writer who wishes to remain anonymous, without presumption of course, that you are indeed that very artist ~ I am compelled to agree with the whispers in England that a woman, indeed a brilliant poetess penned Sensibly the Sense found in the verses I just read. If you are indeed the author, your secret is safe with me and I am further bold to ask that if we are contemporaries, might we enjoy a literary conversation over tea whilst I am in town?" Jane hesitated as Lydia inserted “Yes, yes Jane wrote what you have read and she has been writing many wondrous works since before she attended the Abbey School in reading.” With that horrifying thrust of truth, Jane could not offer any ignorance to who wrote what Byron just read and her eyes blazed across the table at Lydia!

Silence hovered like a thick blanket of fog and Lord Byron was correct in his perception that Lydia’s innocent enthusiasm had caused Jane to fluster with a visible chagrin. The kismet of their meeting had quickly dissolved and with the fastidious aplomb of a gentleman, Byron said “I stutter in the presence of such humility for it is a lesson that I am hard learning. Might you be assured that your anonymity shall be reverently respected Miss Austen. My time in Bath will be short as I have been invited to Lake Geneva with Percy Shelley. So if I should be so fortunate to cross your path again, it would be considered my full portion to speak more completely of your inspirations. Thank you for giving me the gift of your time on my birthday. Miss Austen and ladies I bid you good day.” Byron left their table yet his stunning words swarmed through each lady in attendance. Lydia burst into tears at the thought of having vexed Jane when the afternoon had been so full of promise. “Dearest Jane, I am miserably sorry for having ruined our day with

my impetuous behavior. I humbly acknowledge that I disrespected your desire to remain anonymous, and I admit that my pride for your accomplishment simply erased any ability to control my tongue. I beg for your pardon my sweet Jane.” Jane remained quiet in a state of violent shock by what had just occurred. She usually was quick to recover with a bit of wicked wit, but somehow she sat unready to speak a word. Lydia became excessively more distraught in Jane's hushed state. Compassionately Cassandra quietly offered her sister a look of encouragement. It was a nod of approval for her surprising maturity in the admission of her uncontrolled tottering. Jane seemed to suddenly come back to a dimension of consciousness from the distant place her mind had wondered. With a warmth in her tone, the elder sister Jane looked at Lydia and proclaimed "The afternoon is yet young and it need not be cut short on a sour note. I shall seek no excuse for your bold assertion of truth, and it is I that must seek your merciful forgiveness. Let us return to joy and dismiss any further conjectures

regarding Lord Byron knowing that I wrote Sense and Sensibility. " Ahhh, whom is leading who? Jane possessed a winsome nature which allowed her to devote her observations and responses to any witnessed social guffaws as merely a source of inspiration to be noted with fanciful embellishment and either etched or scratched from a page. With a renewed light filled heart Jane continued "Let us delight in the fact that we have met Lord Byron and rest assured Lydia that your exuberant personality is something that I have always and will continue to admire. We shall all gain valuable insights from what has transpired this day. My spirit was forthrightly admonished most accurately for the rage I held towards Lord Byron without a single idea of how much my judgment must have grieved God as my witness. Are we not all called to forgive and we have been forgiven? Come then let us amuse ourselves with what else is worthy of our attention and accept that not one of us is above needing a bit of coaching away from any gloating or thought of superiority. My personal lesson this day is to offer more grace instead of disdain. Oh my dear ever radiant Lydia, may the ever present

joy you carry ~ be instantly contagious as we are obliged to enjoy this glorious day! We came together to spoil ourselves with the fruits of our lessons in labor. I am the proud sister of two amazing women of such grace that it doth far surpass my capacity to grasp the love God has lavished upon one so unworthy! " A more noble recitation of the value contained in a self reproof could not have been better stated. Cass gushed with glee for the end of the tension at the table and each one served themselves a heaping spoon of berries and cream. An unequaled magnitude of happiness was the joint lullaby that rocked all to sleep. As they did when they were young, all three slept together tucked between luxurious silk sheets in their shared garden suite at the Apsley House Hotel. Awakened by Lydia's giggling, it was a shared bliss to explore Bath's exquisite gardens. Cass, Lydia and Jane engaged in a joyful frolic of ring around the Posey, just as they once did as little girls. Jane began to sing

as she brushed her hair and Cass played the piano while the fire crackled. Before getting dressed and assuming proper composure for breakfast, the three spent time delighting in the coincidence of Lord Byron's personal introduction and earnest praise of Jane's pen. Such providence was a sure sign that 1812 would continue to be a year of tremendous surprise. Raised in the country the ladies insisted on a brisk morning walk before tea. Bundled up in jackets and bonnets they took a jaunt across the green to the camellia garden. Jane let loose with a fanciful bird call

and indulged her imagination that this pleasure would have wings that would take her through the entire winter. The ever demure Cass also afforded herself a skip in her walk and a tune in her hum while Lydia shrieked over the finery of each new blossom that seized her gaze. As Jane turned the corner around a carved hedge she came face to face with none other than Lord Byron. Her nose red and running from the bitter cold was quickly wiped with an embroidered hanky tucked in her sleeve. "Good morning Miss Austen" His greeting was chipper and again she felt that her tongue had been swallowed. Jane was absolutely exasperated by her inability to hide her annoyance of being rendered utterly speechless in this man’s presence. As if she were a school girl, her eyes darted away from his as they sought another focus that would not give the one on looking a chance to

peer into her soul. Time seemed to have been suspended as her troubled mind tumbled over what words would become sensible in response to his obvious delight in having encountered her again. Peering round the hedge to see if her sisters were coming, her gaze then settled on his face as she greeted "Good morning Lord Byron, and what a surprise to happen upon you so early in the morning. My sisters and I found our chambers at Apsley House most agreeable and I so hope that your stay has been equally congenial." Just then Cassandra and Lydia approached from behind the immense hedge and were equally startled to look upon the ever captivating Lord Byron. Lydia never pinched for clever words quickly exerted "My Lord what a lovely jolt of good fortune to chance

upon seeing you twice within so short of hours. Is not this morning a bounty of benefit to have the favor of your presence while strolling in the garden! Come Cassandra, since we have all been formally introduced, it is certainly socially acceptable to allow these contemporaries to engage in a conversation that would literally be above our heads. Jane we will not be far ahead, and do not worry Lord Byron, we shall also keep this accidental meeting treasured as a family secret." Jane stood confounded by her sisters offering that she would be available for such a extemporaneous meeting. Lord Byron noted Jane's surprise and accepted the option with grace as he offered "Jane if you find it within your schedule, and if it is not too objectionable, might we sit briefly and enjoy a fortuitous exchange?" With consideration for her recent lesson on

grace, with the utmost elegance she extended her gloved hand to accept the arm he most handsomely extended. They walked together in silence at a dignified pace towards the garden bench. Feeling ever so slightly pained by the obligation thrust upon her repentant heart, she was hesitant to admit that Byron's charm was having its impact and she simply chose to acquiesce. Byron placed his woolen scarf to soak the dew from the bench. He then assisted Jane as she descended to sit. Sitting aside her he gave careful respect for a ladies requirement for a decent distance. After a lush moment of silence they both began to speak at the same time. Giggling softly Jane composed "You have delivered me unsolicited

appreciation for what has been anonymously published of my writing. Coming from a man of such magnified influence on society, it took me a bit of time to receive the full measure of your most genuine manner. I therefore must acknowledge your professional recognition with a rather delayed and reflected honor. Your evaluation was extremely favorable and with that said I must confess that though your style differs, in your poetic verses, I am fairly charged to accept perceptions that would not be mine." Byron's gaze upon her while she spoke was fixed upon her particularly honest and refreshing pure candor. In his fame he has known many a person who would struggle to flank him with praise for works that he himself believed to be unworthy. His earnest fascination for her plain speaking encouraged him to be likewise. "May I consider you a friend Miss Jane?" She looked at him quizzically "I would be

honored to name you among my small orchestra of friends. I shall consider you the sweet violin that accompanies the delicate keys of my sister's piano" Byron was smiling wide when he professed " Then Jane it is with unsurpassed respect that I feel compelled to now speak apt words that would encourage you to continue to write as a mirror of great value for the generations to come. My poetry is to be figured out, to be interpreted by some as folly, and others as romance, but your insights within relationships has been a grand lesson for me. Your brightness and humor holds in it great promise as a writer of important substance." Jane sat blushing as she had not been so encouraged by anyone quite so eloquently. She was accustomed to her beloved Cassandra's partial praise, but this was from a person who had no association or occasion to gain. Lord Byron halted his desire to further persuade Jane of the tremendous clout with which her words had impaled upon him. He leveraged the moment by

adding "I have much more to say to you, more than you can now seem to bear." It was wise to hold his words to a few as he was certain by her expressions that she grappled with the minimum of what he so ardently desired to confess. "Until the spirit of revelation is fully surrendered to, none of us can comprehend how deeply the written word can minister to the hidden brokenness of a human heart." Jane was struck with the duplicity of his public persona and the words he was now speaking to her. It was as if God Himself had introduced him to her for such a time as this. In her fragile state of health, the family excursions to the seaside of Sidmouth, Dawlish and Lyme Regis were intentional to refresh Jane's weakened condition. She concluded that God had a ripping sense of humor that He would use Lord Byron to teach and uplift her to a height that was precisely heavenly. His gallantry with her erased all previous inclinations regarding his character. She was reminded in their silent walk through the garden of a conversation she had enjoyed with her father, a member of the clergy, charged to pray for all people, the saved and especially

the lost. Her sister Cassandra had readily perceived that Lord Byron’s lack of parenting and disconnect from the faith caused him to write from his darkness. It was curious to Jane that the wit of her pen had been so meaningful that he would pour out such praise of something she did not write with the intention of converting a soul. Feeling a freedom to speak with honesty she confessed "Among my few friends and shrinking family it would be considered an indecent crush between us if it were known that we are sitting alone sharing such transparent words. Ashamed as I should be to admit that my first impression of you was rather severe and unjust, I now perceive you with a worthy extraordinary esteem. Not entirely based on your kindness shown towards me, but having more to do with my own conviction for having judged you at all" Byron was tested to also recite his compulsory penchant to discover who wrote the stirring words that he had chosen to read publicly in several places before Bath. “Miss Austen it was my choice to unmercifully badger my publisher to research and reveal just who was the lady genius behind what my heart believes to be a legacy, a gift to all who at some point

find themselves questioning the meaning of life. The content of Sense and Sensibility is profound as it does not ridicule, but it was written to enlighten. My initial shock was to learn that it was written by a woman, and the most astonishing revelation was that she is a woman who is the daughter of a clergyman. I read about love, emptiness and pain that is laced with forbearance. My depraved self-indulgence has never been delayed or as controlled as your words. My attempts to fill the emptiness of my souls cry for love, fame or money has not met with contentment or sensibility. My questions to why was I born, or why I was chosen to live out the title as Lord Byron have yet to be answered. Having met many statesmen, and after many debates with esteemed writers, I was moved to take steps to meet and speak to Jane Austen before I depart this plane. Escaping my past is impossible; however, I do have hope in a future that includes people of your dignity and character. My confession to you

Miss Austen is that I came to Bath in hopes that we would somehow come to this very open and honest communication." Jane was surprised by the clarity he gleaned from something she wrote to simply entertain, but she was not surprised at how God could use anything to draw the lost back to Himself. After soothing him with a look of sincere compassion Jane smiled and shared “My dear brother Byron it has been remarkable to witness my own transformation during our brief yet divine interface. My lessons have been great last night and again today. What I am not is a saint. I therefore must encourage you to trust that God has a plan for you just as He planned that you would read something and seek comfort from something new. Indeed our lifestyles may differ, however my lifelong lesson is to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  Without my Father talking to me about God, left to myself, my life would be full of what the world would perceive as unforgivable. When I heard you reading my words last evening I was filled with pride and prejudice.

We each seek to know that somehow our work, our life, our being alive has in some measure benefited someone, somewhere in some small way. Sitting here now with the man known to the world as the bad, mad and dangerous boy ~ because of grace issued unto me, I see you in the light of truth. I was blinded and deceived, but I now perceive thee correctly. I shall treasure our friendship forever, and NOT because you protest that my words have inspired you, but because you Lord Byron have inspired me to write more truly about poor judgment.  To write as transparently as you have spoken.  My pride had a desperate need to be broken and thoroughly undone, so I thank God for our chance encounter. For all the friends that I have had while alive, for all the silly parties that I have attended, this conversation we are now engaged in has been the most

fulfilling of my lifetime. Might I call you simply brother Byron?” His response was immediate “Yes, sister Jane, I would like that very much.” Lydia came into view and waved them towards the lake where Cassandra was engaged in teasing the geese. Jane then was prompted to inquire “Brother Byron, please accept this most wonderful invitation to join the Austen sisters for some frivolity this afternoon! Also, I was wondering if you would be so kind as to grace us with your fame for a surprise birthday lunch for our beloved brother? If delighting your poor sister is something that brings you joy, then might I also request that you would read to your adoring family some of your prose?” Byron beamed “It is indeed a dreadful sin to have such an indecent crush on your sister!” They both laughed and soon stood beside the lake skipping rocks across the still water. Lydia’s childlike laughter and Cassandra’s sweet humming added the distinct sense that 1812 was bound to be a great year filled with a joy that will surpass every understanding. After a time they raced back to the hotel where Jane would tell eager ears that the conclusion of her titillating odyssey this afternoon was that the Austen family had acquired a rather dashing new brother in Lord Byron! (END OF STORY but not the fascination of Jane Austen) This story was submitted to the Austen Fan 2011 Contest hosted on the Republic of Pemberly website and published on Valentine’s Day 2011.