TRUTH: Grey hairs are flourishing under my colored lengths. The wind of time blows and my life is but a twinkling grain of sand on a Son lit seashore of souls. I am not precisely a girl, yet I am in-between a mature woman and the winsome youth I once was. I know fear, friendship and how time persists like the wind, pushing me forward while wrinkling and eroding my flesh. Our Father who has no beginning and no end, He who lives outside of time, the Captain of my ship increases my faith in the unseen, unknown will of God as we journey together, not alone. While the winds of faith blister my face, I am stilled without angst for my appearance or my future. I consider the purpose of His voyage aboard my creaking ship, this body and I am humbled. A few years ago I would have pronounced with electric enthusiasm that it was God's will to fit me for a position of responsibility to harvest many souls. I began my voyage of faith in Jesus Christ in 1985 with childlike perceptions undistorted by the emotion of experience, I was not expecting so much rejection. Bathed in the blissful objectivity of ignorance, I surrendered with a naive willingness to be led into a glorious future without strife. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you." Isaiah 43:10 His promises are many, and in His wonderous way, ever kept. His will be done not mine. AMEN -
Today I marvel at the overwhelming subjectivity that relentlessly proceeds out of my inherent nature to judge all things as I would have it, and NOT in His will, wisdom or superior, often surprising ways. All knowledge obtained belongs to the thinking subject, which is me ~ This day, I am quick to admit my insufficiency apart from God. Against all manner of human rationale, a formidable HOPE rises within me during my weakest moments. The noble thoughts of God alone are worthy of recitation. Nothing I have said, written or done will ever come close to the reality of His unseen, but very steady, unchanging guidance and ever sufficient Word. The criminal element within our regal, yet wasting human society in this century can be compared to the eloquent dependence God knows we shall ever need, for days gone by, and for the days ahead. All knowledge obtained in school, university or seminary lacks any pertinence if one has not forgiven one wretched drunk, prostitute or thief. If we have seen with the eyes of God, if we have perceived a soul's poverty with compassion, mercy and grace, we have walked with Jesus among the homeless and hopeless and been His light. Oh Lord, I thank You for each person who has walked in faith before me and I rejoice in my weakness, in my vulnerable human frailty, for You are in my midst giving me strength to face the change that is yet to come. Jesus reassures me with the truth. We have no need for a particular priest, as we are all priests. A mix of feelings blows through my sail as the wind of change whips my vessel into submission. All concerns, fears and reluctance to follow my Captain are decimated by His mighty Presence. My hope is sure because I know that I shall arrive at my final destination in His good and perfect time.
He placed His robe of Righteousness on me
"Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness." Psalm 29:2 "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy." 1 Peter 1:8 ~ My Lord has spoken His words and I listen carefully to what the Spirit is saying. Encouraged by the power of His robe, all is well within my soul. I put off my perceptions, my preconceived ideas, my substantial experience, my obtained worldly
views and I put on my armor, my robe of righteousness and I wear my helmet of salvation with honor.
I shall not subscribe to the furious fears of man nor the waves of contempt against God in times of trouble. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds." James 1:2 ~ He searches my heart and makes me face the truth of my prejudices, and the pride that is inherent in my selfish nature. With ready confession I admit my weakness and He fortifies me and challenges me to speak with clarity all that He has accomplished by my departure from denial that I need God desperately, ever hour of each day. With a compassionate heart I accept the frailty of man without thinking myself superior in any way. I am humbled in the awareness that He chose to use a wretch like me. Thank You Father for throwing me the life preserver, Jesus Christ, my Savior. "And he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9 ~ "But You remain the same, and Your years will never end." Ps 102: 27