A CHOICE to LOVE

Little Barbie's conversations with God have been heard ever since she cried out as a child.  Her heavenly Father listened and accepted her plea to belong to Him. He was aware of all her needs and He legally adopted little Barbie and gave her the keys to His kingdom. Since she accepted Jesus Christ, as her Lord, the Authority of her life, she has never walked alone, or felt her Father was not listening.  Because she trusts that Her Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are ever present, she hears His voiced encouragements in the Bible, she listens to what the Spirit is saying through words of encouragement, and she is guided through open doors that show her His Ways.  Barbie relies on her intimate relationship with God and she depends on the Holy Spirit's revelation of how particular scriptures apply to her journey.  She prayed and trusted that God heard her when she requested:  " God, I pray that I will grow in my relationship with You so much that when You speak, I will immediately recognize Your voice and respond, willingly, without reservation." 

Barbie "seeks" Her Father's will and to get His best for her, she denies her personal desires, so that she can accept His plan for her life. "Not my will be done, but Thy will be done." She seeks to please her Father and not seek the approval of others.. This has never been easy, and she has failed many times, however, by the constant grace and mercy of God, Barbie has been convicted to confess her goofs and receive her Father's compassion and forgiveness and work out the gift of her salvation. In her new life in Christ she has learned NOT to trust her feelings, but to deny herself and rely on the Word of God, and the nudge from the Spirit within her. As He promised, He shows her the Way and where He is already working, and she chooses to join Him in His work. She loves her Father above all else and she trusts Him, no matter how unprepared she may feel to WALK this WAY.

IDEALLY, through prayer, the reading of the Word, and patient deliberation, when she is at peace in her heart and mind, and as she remains in continuing communication with the Father, she

confidently proceeds according to God's will. She is completely fulfilled in her love relationship with God and she gladly obeys because she trusts that what He asks her to do is best.  God has always faithfully provided all she needs.  He feeds her body, nourishes her soul and Jesus clothed her with His righteousness. Barbie would rather have the love of Jesus than the imperfect love, performance applause or fading approval of man.  She knows that she is an ordinary girl through which God can accomplish extraordinary things.  Therefore, Barbie does not fret or fear life in this world, or going alone to a foreign country, or being rejected or laughed at. She values eternity, not her short time on earth.  Barbie’s life as a daughter of the King of Kings is shaped by her choices to please Him. She has allowed God to develop her character through various trials.  No matter the pain of the circumstance, the struggle did not change her love for God, it only increased her reliance upon Him.  Barbie is convinced that God's 

Word, and His promises are the Truth, and the Way because she has personally encountered Jesus. His faithfulness over the years to prosper her, and not harm her, is her reality.  She considers all her profits in this life as a loss compared to the unsurpassed greatness of experiencing God through her loving relationship with Jesus Christ her Lord.  Barbie died to herself and was spiritually born again and given the personal knowledge of the Holy Spirit.  She seeks to remain God-centered and not self-centered by placing her complete confidence "in Him" not in her education or skill.

She thanks God for all that He initiates, because she knows that He finishes everything He starts.   Barbie knows that His ways are not her ways, and so if what He asks her to do, seems impossible, then it is most assuredly from the Father. His plan of salvation still boggles the human mind.  His Son, Jesus was rejected, laughed at, mocked and beaten, and He chose to die, so that she could live “in Him” sealed, protected and used forever in this world, and throughout eternity. Barbie is enabled to love God with the love He first gave her, because she believed that Jesus, the Son of God came down to rescue her.  Barbie purposely invests her life, time and provided resources into the thing that will last, her love relationship with God. This investment will never perish or pass away.  Jesus is at the door of your heart, knocking.  Do NOT resist the impulse to surrender.

Open the door to your heart and invite Him in. Enjoy coming home to the Father.  Relax into eternal life "in Him", now, today...NOW is when eternal life with Jesus can begin.  Be still and know that Jesus is God and that wherever you are, He is.  Whatever you are feeling, whatever has you worried, He knows.  He is your divine Comforter.  He is approachable, and available 24/7.  Know that He is always glad to hear from you and He wants to transform your mind, your heart and your perceptions about who He is.  Allow yourself to be lifted up and carried by the Father and trust that He will never drop you, or forsake you.  You need never to be alone, or feel unwanted again. So what is love? God is love. I had lived my life as a prisoner of my flesh. The strong desire to indulge the best, and all of the beautiful luxuries seemed normal. To taste whatever the smiling world had made available, I simply marveled in all that intoxicated my soul. I held tight to my unrighteous indignation, self-pity, and my impulsively critical spirit. My faultless character stood on a pedestal of my own making. Insecure, I was offended easily. I disliked the messengers who were sent to speak truthfully about any lack in me. I was full of philosophy and the unquenchable need to be loved, to arrive in impeccable style, to be seen, to be welcomed by all. My need for self gratification, my longing for connection, my obvious emptiness was not what I saw in the mirror. Changing careers, I was glad to leave behind all that I was unable to achieve on my own. After all the positive thinking seminars I had ingested, there I was, feeling like an imposter, at times suicidal, unworthy and a complete failure. Knowing the truth of my reckless, selfish behavior, I exhausted all the wisdom of my generation. To sin was my habit, and self denial was my way. Lofty words would drive me to mountaintop experiences, but the descent was devastating. This was the detestable state of my being when Jesus said to me; "Barbara, you are Mine!" 

Each worldy thing that once caused me to crave more-- began to decay away. To empty myself of me, is a PROCESS of denying my soul. Only when the soul is broken, can the Light of God stream in and fill the emptiness with His Spirit. Our Lord is gracious, patient and lovingly understanding. In July 2024, I began reading "Releasing the Spirit" by Watchman Nee.  My Father's mercies and His grace has never departed. On a bad day, I quickly pray, Lord, I surrender my mind, and soul to You. Fill me with Your words as I willingly delete all my reasoning. My God is always been there, waiting for me to once again surrender my flesh, and ask the Spirit to lead me. "Help me." Yes, Lord Jesus, rescue me from myself. Crack my soul so the seed can grow in my spirit man.  How does one come to love a God that one cannot see? In your own language, ask God to answer all your questions. When you realize that nothing can fill the hole in your soul but TRUE LOVE, then you will seek God with all your heart and He will reveal the TRUTH, that His love is everlasting and He does not change. People change and people let you down.  Only God is faithful, only is God worthy to be praised and loved with the love He will give to you first.  "Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original." Galatians 5:25-26 The Message